How Important Can A Dozen Grape Fruits Be?
by Camikazi
Summary: "Look, I did not almost die at the hands of The Joker, get into a fight with Batman and get fired... to be told that even as the leader, I can't decide how long I get to stay up!" "You have been awake, for THREE DAYS. JUST SITTING THERE!" Fun times with the Teen Titans and someone's sleeping habits. Or obsessive lack of. (The whole team is included)


I am so sorry but at the same time, not really. Is this story kinda crack? Yes somewhat, but not really. Crack treated softly. Also, they are just a little off but it's fine.

* * *

"Look, I did not almost die at the hands of The Joker, get into a fight with Batman and get fired, run away from the life I've known since I was nine to Jump City, get dragged around by Starfire, create the Teen Titans, and almost _die_ _multiple_ _times_ this past _year_ to be told that even as the leader, I can't decide how long I get to stay up!"

"You have been awake, for THREE DAYS. JUST SITTING THERE!"

"I can sleep when I'm dead."

The Teen Titans had been on a case for the city against one of those dime a dozen villains. Said villain had been thankfully captured and thrown in jail. The case had been _closed_. About a week and a day ago. But Robin -and the paranoia that had been instilled into him by a certain caped crusader- had _refused_ to believe the case was finally done with. For all they knew this villain could 'secretly be an evil mastermind' and 'they could have given it exactly the tools needed to destroy half the city'. All because a dozen grapefruits had been left behind. This could very well all be a clever ploy to distract them from the real mastermind. (it wasn't)

Currently, all five of the Teen Titans were arguing in their common room. Mainly four against the team against their leader.

"Look I don't care how important you think a dozen grapefruits left at the scene of the crime are, but you need to sleep. _THREE_ _DAYS_!"

Robin scoffed. "It hasn't been three days," he said crossing his arms across his chest.

And it hadn't. Of course, there was always more it the story. This was robin they were talking about, there's always more. Unbeknownst to the team, Robin had also been up for the whole 4 days after the original case, aside from the 3 days they had actually witnessed. Robin, the leader of the Teen Titans, had been on the case for a total of 7 and a half days. After it had been solved. In all honesty, this wasn't foreign to him, but to the team, this was all brand new and (relatively, because anyone compared to the Bat Clan was considered sane) for normal people this was unhealthy. They never _did_ know what robin could do on this brink of insanity. It was a miracle he hadn't reached it in his short life yet. Especially recently here in Jump City, the capital of crazy madness.

"Look, how important can a dozen grapefruits be?" Cyborg challenged.

Robin disagreed, "You never know! he could be spreading an infection, or preparing some reverse scurvy!" Really, these 7 days awake were getting to him. He was reverting back to excuses he used on a certain dark night when he was first allowed to help on cases. (And some of the time, especially in Gotham, he was very close or at least got them on the right track).

"Alright Robin," said Cyborg, "I didn't want to do this but you leave me no other option."

With that, he lifts his robotic arm and aims his cannon at the acrobatic master. He powered up his arm and shot at Robin repeatedly. But no matter how much or how fast he shot at Robin, he dodged each and every one of his red darts.

In total Robin dodged _seventeen darts,_ before one finally hit. But even that wasn't enough to stop him.

Robin stood in the center of their large living room. "Ha, the jokes on you! I've been tranquilized so many times that I'm practically immune!" and with that Robin began laughing, or more precisely, cackling like a mad man.

"Dude that's sad" Beast Boy commented.

Slowly taking a seat on the floor, sitting criss-cross apple sauce (or bat signal style), Robin agreed. "Yes, I admit it is a bit sad."

"Not as sad as obsessing over 12 oversized oranges," Raven muttered.

Robin looked up, "What did you say?"

"I said how in the world do you know which one he even used?" Raven replied. She herself was tired of everyone running around and just wanted an end to all this madness.

Placing a smile on his face and his hands on his knees, Robin answered her exhausted question. "I'm the one who stocks the tower. Besides, I recognize that kind. I also kinda snoop through your rooms at times so in know what Cyborg is able to load into his arm cannons." With that, he snorted a bit of a small laugh.

"Robin are you alright?" Starfire questioned concernedly.

"Never been better!" Robin gleefully answered, a smile still playing on his lips.

Though still slightly scared at the unusual smiling expression on Robin's face, Beast Boy asked the question on everyone's mind since Robin opened his mouth, asking "Umm...why did he admit to snooping through our rooms? And why is he answering questions with more than just vague responses?"

Slowly, Robin stood up from his position, and his smile dramatically morphed into a very serious expression, "This formula doesn't make me pass out anymore, but it still makes me a bit... well a bit too honest. Not really myself."

"...So you're high" Beast Boy concluded, "...is he no longer the good influence?"

At this point, Robin had started walking over to one on the tall windows that doubled as a wall in their T-shaped tower. He proceeds to look broodingly out the window.

"Dude! Why did you do that!?" Cyborg shouted "You've made his drugged up mood flip entirely! Look at him now! He's so sad! Well, sadder"

"I'm sorry I didn't know how else to say it! How was I supposed to know he'd do this?!" Beast Boy was very confused by this turn of events. This wasn't something that regularly happened, despite what the crazy events that usually surrounded them might imply.

"Oh my gosh, he looks like one if those dogs in the animal shelter commercials. ya know 'in the arms of the angle' type stuff?"

"No, it's something else," Beast Boy countered.

While Beastboy and Cyborg debated over what sad thing he reminded them of, the girls had been left to watch him in case he did something else. Specifically something dangerous. To them or himself, mostly the tower.

The team was a little freaked out at how quickly Robin had changed moods. Robin himself was prone to having deep brooding moments -which to them was logical, as he was raised by the bat- but to shift so suddenly in mere seconds? That was not typical of him.

Sparing a glance at Robin, Beast Boy could see him still standing, toying with his bird shaped boomerang in his hand. Those sharp edges reflected really nicely in the sun, especially around those sharp and pointy edges.

"I don't like the way he's looking at his birdarang..." Beast Boy trailed off.

Cyborg sighed deeply, raising his arm and aimed once again at Robin. "Ok, you know what? I'm ending this now. I think we've all had enough if this."

Robin being unaware of the movement around him, never noticed in time enough to dodge and ended up getting hit with 2 more darts in his left arm. When he felt the sharp sting of the second dart, he didn't really outwardly react. The only indication the team ever received that he ever noticed was him slowly lifting up his arm and looking at the darts.

"Oh," He softly muttered, as if a butterfly had landed on him, and he didn't want to scare it away. His eyebrows furrowed a bit in his mild surprise.

Worried by his lack of reaction, Beast Boy tentatively asked, "Dude, how can you look insulted and disappointed at the same time?"

"I swear he does this on purpose," Cyborg muttered.

"Please, can we do something before the situation gets worse?" Raven asked. At the rate -and the rate their lives usually went this- could either turn out well or enslave half the city again.

"He looks like someone took away his cereal," Beast Boy continued.

Cyborg, taken a bit back by the sudden comparison, just replied: "Okay, that's kinda specific..."

"It happened to me once. I _really_ wanted that cereal," Beast Boy replied simply.

During this whole stretch of time, their leader just remained silent as he stared at the offending dart. When he decided to speak again, he only softly whispered a simple, "Hey that's not fair." He carefully pulled the darts out before adding "Why the new purple darts? They were red before. They were also weaker..." He trailed off.

Firmly cyborg decided to tell him the hard truth of the matter. "You haven't gone down and we need you to sleep, it's totally fair."

In a highly unanticipated (why were they surprised it's Robin) move, the boy wonders rapidly pulls out his grappling hook from his belt and shoots into rafters. Before anyone could stop him, he zipped up and had scurried into the rafters, hidden.

"Great how do we get him put now?" Beast Boy groaned.

Surprisingly it was Starfire who answered, "We wait for him to pass out."

So they waited him out. The last thing they heard from him was a very slurred "You guys... suck," before they could hear his soft even breaths.

It had been almost forty minutes, but he had _finally_ passed out up in the rafters.

"Star, as the team leader when Robin is out I say you get him out of there and in his bed please," Cyborg began, in a strong commanding tone, most likely imitating Robin.

Starfire looked at him, "...But Robin's room is locked to anyone but him. And I don't think we should destroy the door again," she rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

That was true, no one did have the code to his room. They were pretty sure it had to do with his secret identity and even then it would change on a weekly if not daily basis. Not being one for any sort of invasion of privacy, they never really bothered with it. And the last time they had broken into his room they had to knock down the door... Well, actually they melted it.

Mulling it over, Cyborg decided on the next best place. Robin was not a fan of staying in unsecured rooms for whatever reason, but aside from his room, their living room was the next best thing. It was public, but that would add extra eyes to keep watch over him. "Then to the couch."

"Then to the couch!" she affirmed.

They proceeded to place him on the couch and placed a blanket on him. At this point, he was basically out cold. Of course, they leave his special domino mask on. This could have been a good time to sneak a peak at his unmasked his face. They have no idea what he looks like under the mask even wit his eyes are closed. But to be perfectly honest, they're kinda scared of what they'd find. And what Robin might do in retaliation.

Either way, Robin was now happily snoozing on the couch, as the team spent the rest of the afternoon peacefully watching TV or training or meditating.

And all of this because the villain decided to buy a dozen grapefruits as a snack. Who did that?

The people from math problems. And they are the truest evil.

* * *

As some people may notice, I am a fan of having characters in comfortable positions where they are safe happy and warm in the end. and humor. I think I'm noting a trend where my stories end with happy sleep scenes surrounded by friends or family. I'm into that kind of fluffy shit. Anyway, I've been in a DC mood for a while so here's this. I have no idea what I'll write next so I think I can accept some prompts. But ya know, writing takes time with all the planning and writing and editing.


End file.
